I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
this hospital has no fireball
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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