She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
