why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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