she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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