im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
