Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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