i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
