proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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