a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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