i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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