is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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