i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
