Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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