I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
