You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
