Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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