Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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