omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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