She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
