Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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