girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
there is glitter all over my balls
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
