She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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