Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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