Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
