At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
