wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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