He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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