trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You smell like stripper and shame
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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