yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize