This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm passing your future prison.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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