Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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