This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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