Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
