guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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