wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
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all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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