Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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