Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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