i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
