I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
