did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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