The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
