Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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