My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
