Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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