Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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