JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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