just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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