everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
