no, he came in my armpit
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
