Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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