How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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