WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
