Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
