genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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