he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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