everyone is single if you try hard enough
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
