Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.