their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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