I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
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We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties