Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.