everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT