Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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