Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize