My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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