I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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