This girl is more easily done than said...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
