Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
