I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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