Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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