just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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