So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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