I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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