Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
