Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
